Never in my life did I see anything like this coming, I’m sure I’m not the only one. I am of course talking about the new dreaded C word, Coronavirus. My mind is trying to process everything that has happened and changed within the last week. At the minute I am taking each day as it comes because if I think about what potentially lies ahead I don’t think I could cope. I have managed not to cry for the last few days but before that I felt like, and did, just cry at any given time, including walking back from the shop when streets had started to look deserted and I’d been at home with the kids all day, and watching too much news. It is the enormity of what is changing in such a short space of time that is hard to comprehend. For someone who enjoys going to work and getting out and about enjoying the fresh air and visiting new places, the prospect of having to now stay indoors unless essential, as well as provide some form of home schooling and work from home, is too much to take if I let it engulf my thoughts.
It’s crazy to think only 8 days ago I was attending a concert in another town, telling my daughter to make the most of it as it would probably be the last thing we would be attending for a while. As well as this, travelling on two trains and staying in a hotel, eating a breakfast buffet within an already eerily quiet restaurant. Things that were the every day norm were already starting to become not so. Only a few days before this, I had been to the same town with my partner, a rare night away without the kids, the concert we were due to attend was postponed due to the singer struggling with his voice so we made the most of still going out for a meal and as I said at the time, we should make the most of going for a couple of drinks in a pub as we didn’t know when the opportunity would arise again. Meaning, because we didn’t know when we’d get childcare again to be able to do it, not because they were going to close and we’d have the option to go to a pub taken away from us completely. These every day things that I took for granted on a day to day basis are now not allowed, and we don’t know when they will be. I think it’s safe to say that when this is all over and done with, and god help us, surely it has to be even if it is in the very distant future, I will never take any of these things for granted again and will cherish every moment spent going out and about doing what was the every day things of meeting for lunch, chatting to people at work and popping to the shop without the fear of potentially catching a deadly virus.
For now, I will stay home with my babies and do my best to keep them safe and sane through this, hopefully, once in a lifetime pandemic. Luckily, my little boy is too young for it to really make a difference to him, he is due to start school in September (I’m praying they’ll be back open by then) and is usually home with me anyway, having two days at nursery per week. For him, all he sees is he now has his Mummy every day, and his big sister home from school, and is happy that he doesn’t have to go to nursery as despite attending for over a year, he still got upset when I dropped him off. He is getting to play out in our cul de sac with myself and his big sister, something he couldn’t usually do due to all the cars that usually use to it turn around, they rarely come down it now due to the lockdown. No one else is out there as there are no other children living in our street, something I resented about our street in usual circumstances but is now a god send as it means we can play out on the front without coming into close proximity of anyone else.
My daughter is relishing not having to go to school but has had moments of being upset about missing her friends but luckily has a mobile and their phone numbers so has been able to facetime and WhatsApp. She is also happy about the fact that we get to spend more time together, I’m not sure how this will fair in the coming weeks given we are only at the start of a three week lockdown and months of no school or play dates are ahead.
For now, I am taking each day as it comes, trying to take my mind off what is going on in the outside world by not staying glued to news. I have to force myself to turn it off or before I know it I’ve been watching for hours the same story over and over, all while my anxiety about the situation is increasing. Instead we’ve put music on, made a timetable, my daughter’s designed a badge for our home school and we’ve been outside playing. Yes, I’ve also been playing, my daughters scooter is big enough for me to use and I’ve been on it every day since this started, chasing after her and her brother up and down the street, their laughter is so joyous to hear, and it is one of the pleasures that I have been able to experience due to this whole situation. These are the things that I need to keep in mind until we get through this, and also ensure we continue to enjoy moments like this when it’s over. If one thing’s come from this whole horrendous situation is that I should’ve been enjoying things like this before and it shouldn’t have took this for it to happen. Life as it was and the simple pleasures will never be taken for granted again. Stay safe everyone, we can get through this together.
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